For months, I bit my tongue every time my husband, Mark, hit me with his favorite line:
“I work all day. You wouldn’t understand.” Meanwhile, I was home with two kids under five — managing tantrums, meals, laundry, and the daily 3 p.m. meltdown. To him, my world looked like pajamas and playtime. “Must be nice to stay home and chill,” he’d say with a smirk, as I scrubbed dishes and packed lunches. And when I asked for help, he’d shrug. “I already worked today. You don’t see me asking you to take over my job.”
The final straw came one quiet night. After bedtime, I sank into the couch, exhausted. Mark glanced over and asked casually, “You’re always so tired lately. From what?” That question echoed in my mind for days. Not in anger — but in sadness. He truly didn’t see it. And that’s when I knew it was time for Mark to understand what my days were really like.
The next Sunday, I handed him a handwritten note: “My schedule for tomorrow. You’re in charge.”
I packed a small overnight bag and went to stay with my sister — just for one day of rest. I didn’t lecture or argue. I simply let life teach him. By lunchtime, my phone buzzed with messages: “How do you get them to eat anything?” “When do you rest?”* “How do you do this every day?”*
When I came home that night, the kids were asleep on the couch, and Mark looked at me differently — softer, humbled, grateful.That week, something changed between us. He started helping more, noticing more, and saying “thank you” more. And I learned something too — sometimes, understanding doesn’t come from words, but from walking in someone else’s shoes. Respect isn’t demanded; it’s discovered.